I love my scales this morning! I fessed up to drinking Thursday night, because I used my nasty work mate as an excuse.... My last manager was a bully too. Now I am not going to blame either of these people for turning me towards the bottle - because, to be honest - I love drinking! But the pain I feel from there words makes me hide - I don't drink for fun... So, I need another form of stress relief - I am assume Mich is going to say EXERCISE! And the truth is, it does make you feel better!
So, going back to the fess up - I didn't say what I actually bought, and what I have been doing... Thursday I forgot to confess I also bought KFC for dinner - Yup Zinger Bacon and Cheese burger - fries AND a large popcorn chicken! Fark! And the pre mix cans of wild turkey wasn't just a couple for Thursday night to ease my pain - It was, wait for it..... a whole carton (can I put that in a smaller font so no one can read it?)....
So, my Thursday night binge has been continuing, right through to this morning.... staring at my, longing to be consumed! So, what do I do today? There is NO WAY I am going to throw it out... why? because I want it... Dam - wrong answer. But an honest one. Do I finish off my poor carton today? Or do I hold on to it and see what being back at work trows at me tomorrow??? I don't want to buy anymore - ever again! I have a slight issue, in that my mother is an alcoholic, and she doesn't drive, so I have to go to the bottle shop and buy her grog for her. She called me Friday asking if I could stock her up on Monday - yes that is tomorrow... So, will I buy more for me tomorrow - I have gone in for mum before and not bought myself anything. So I guess that's what I have to visualise - me not buying my turkeys! So I had 5 days on the wagon and 4 days off it...
Ok, I have had enough of thinking about that - 1.2kg weight loss! Yipee!!! It is actually 1.8 according to my BLC tracking, but only 1.2 on my ticker - They should both line up from now on in. So, from Monday to Wednesday I must have been doing something right - and even my binge drinking days my food and a slight increase in exercise is paying off :) So 5 days without the grog = nearly 2kg's weight loss too... So, it theory I should pull a few big numbers once Mich starts kicking my but!
You know I am now sitting here at 9:45 in the morning, listening to Mich in sparodic bits (I'm on satellite broadband - so it is VERY slow), wishing I had a diary with me (that time of the program), trying to write this blog - knowing I need to get wood and feed the chickens - pretending to study and yes - just cracked open a wild turkey - oh dear...
Ok... turkey is going back in fridge, putting shoes on, going to get some wood and feed the chooks! Let's see if I can get this ass right! Stay tuned for a little bit more madness - confessions of an alcoholic?? Who knows... btw - nothing profound in my head... so THANK YOU to whoever chooses to follow this odd life of mine xx
Hi Mel
ReplyDeleteYour life is not odd, as I like to put it for myself we have a challenged life. Oh I have so much to say to you but will have to txt you my email address as I do not want to put it on here. My addiction is different to yours but just the same we use it to dull the pain in our lives. Things will get better Mel as we deserve it.
:) Thank you =)
ReplyDelete