Hello, Thank you - and blah - week of excuses!

Hi Jess :) And Brooklyn (not sure why you couldn't post here - I know nothing about blogs! Oh and I cant figure out how to find your blogs!) Thank you both for reading my blog, and for my messages. I have had a good week, but fell over a bit on Thursday - I bought alcohol - so much for my 'on the wagon ticker'! I guess I will just start again! I think this should have been a reply btw! The rest a new post! Oh well, I will work this out! lol

Food wise hasn't been too bad, I have even been taking my lunch to work! But last night - when I showed NO DESIRE to cook tea, my wonderful hubby deep fried some chips and dim sims - yup FANTASTIC! (He bought them btw!) I guess this shows me the importance of planning ahead. I am hoping Michelle's program will help me do that, easily. I am busy. Not an excuse, just a reality.

I live on a farm, my first job in the morning is to feed the chickens. I think I worked out it is about 200m to the chicken coupe. Not far, I know - but during winter, when the grass is frozen - well, it is much easier to send my daughter! My plan is to make this into a daily walk. A lap of our block I suppose. I am very unmotivated in the morning. I love my bed. I have undertaken gym things in the mornings before - but the constant 5am start is too much. We wake at that time anyway, my partner leaves here at 6, and I am still dragging my feet at 7. I need to be gone at 7 to get to work on time, otherwise I hit all the traffic (yes, we do get SOME in Tasmania!) A good run takes me about an hour to get in. And usually always that on the way home. So I tend to walk in the door around 6:15 - 6:30. So it is a long day - I'm not here for nearly 12 hours. Now Mich asks me to find a way around our excuses. I really don't know how. I am thinking a slightly longer walk in the morning - a quick 20 min walk at lunch time - and then exercise after tea??? You see, if I don't cook tea, I might get something deep fried, or smothered in butter. In saying this, I am a TERRIBLE cook! lol

So, why did I drink? I received a horrible e-mail off a work colleague. It made me cry to be honest. They are not happy I am in this job, and so they put me down, and bag me out to my work colleagues all the time. So - what would have been a better way to deal with that emotionally? "your worthless - so lets run home and drink" NO MORE! Made me well up just typing that. Very raw still I see! Oh dear... I think I need some good mantras :) I am more than a fat girl ready to die young because I work with a bully! I did send this to HR, and they are going to get a bollocking. But then that is going to have repercussions. So I need all the strength I can muster atm, as I am there manager, and an official warning is just going to get nasty :( So... that's my work life :) I guess this makes it all a little stressful.

Now, on top of all this I am studying Bach Health, Ageing and Community Services at UNE part time. I have 2 assignments due in the next 3 weeks, so my brain is also partially consumed with this, and my home time is FULLY consumed. The good thing is, come June 1 I will be finished, so I will have some me time again, and be able to pick up the house work, farm work and exercise routine again! I think June 1 will be all 12wbt consumed. It is ALL ABOUT ME TIME!

I was following my new found friend Amy on her trip to Melb - she has gone there for the end of 12wbt celebration! How cool is that!! She has lost 95kg?? I think! Maybe 90 - either way, a huge amount of weight. It is strange how for some of us we tend to deal with life through consuming through our mouths... whether it be sweet, savory, cola, alcohol - why is it people have such addictive behaviour? Why don't we go back to good, healthy food. Why should chemicals be sold to us, or really fatty food? Freedom of choice? What wrong with water and lemons? Full cream milk? natural coffee... why do we need water cordial? Coke? Low-joule stuff that isn't even food! Highly processed grains.... grrrr society has gone mad. really, what we need is natural produce. Maybe my plan should be GROW YOUR OWN! Gee, I have enough land to do it... the only thing I may run out of in summer is water - and I know how to get more!

Well today has felt like a rant. Hopefully I can become a little more accountable - the more I rant! Thank you world... and my new fellow bloggers Brooklyn and Jess :) Please let me know how to find you in the blogging world! lol